The Truth About Big Decisions

In life, big decisions often carry the weight of the world. Where to live, what job to take, whether to stay or leave, start or stop—these moments feel like they’ll decide whether we make it or not.

But here’s the truth: most of the time, they don’t determine if we make it.


They determine how we make it.

You will still grow. You will still struggle. You will still experience joy, grief, love, and change—regardless of the path you choose. The scenery might change, but the journey is still yours.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to get it right—as if there’s only one “correct” road and the rest lead to ruin. But life rarely works like that. Every decision opens one set of doors and closes another. It’s less about picking the perfect path, and more about choosing the version of growth you’re ready for.

And if you’re feeling stuck, there’s a reason. Research shows that high-stakes decisions activate the same parts of the brain associated with threat and uncertainty, particularly the amygdala and prefrontal cortex (Bechara et al., 2000). This can leave us frozen in analysis paralysis—our minds spinning with “what ifs” while our bodies interpret the moment as a crisis.

But most decisions don’t need perfection. In fact, psychologist Barry Schwartz coined the term "the paradox of choice" to describe how too many options and too much pressure to “get it right” can actually decrease our satisfaction and increase regret (Schwartz, 2004).

Instead of chasing the right answer, consider this question:


What outcome can I live with, grow through, and take ownership of—regardless of how it unfolds?

That’s the heart of resilient decision-making. It’s not about certainty or control—it’s about choosing a path you’re willing to walk, knowing that growth and discomfort often travel together.

Author: Merissa Mills BSW, RSW Photography - PhotoMill Photography

This photo is a beautiful representation of making the decision to follow your dreams.